An Unlikely Window into My Heart


As you can see, this is reposting from February of 2008. I am fascinated to see how after having two major abdominal surgeries before I met my husband, my health began to decline. Its quite interesting for me to go back thru and see how it slowly but surely came to what it came to!

An Unlikely Window... ...into my heart.

I don't like to talk much about my health, but I know lots of my friends are struggling with health issues, too. It helps sometimes for us "sickies" to lean on each other. I am sure I have mentioned before that I have Crohn's Disease. That has been a long journey, but I have prevailed through lots of ups and downs. God has given me something to talk about. My illness has shaped who I am, how I handle hard times and how I use those times to help me grow in my faith and as a person. The opportunities I have had to help others have been endless and I know God will give me plenty more chances to use my illness to relate to others in His time. I look forward to that. When you are really sick, you get a new and very mature perspective on life. I consider myself very lucky to have received this perspective at such a young age. On that beautiful and courageous-sounding note, I got a double whammie in the last two days. I have not been feeling well since Christmas, so while I was home last week, I got to see my favorite doctor. I love him because he knows when I complain I am at my wits end and he knows if I am complaining to him that I need help. So, he ran some tests, drained me of my blood and determined that not only do I have issues with my thyroid (easily solved, I think), he thinks he has discovered that I am beginning to have Gluten Sensitivity (easy to solve if you don't like food!) This, of course, is on top of Crohn's Disease and a recently acquired fructose intolerance. Hmmphf. Well, at least this provides an explanation to my complete and utter exhaustion. So, I should be grateful for this discovery and chance to improve my quality of life. I am. I know these things might seem small, but all added up, it is just frustrating for a girl who LOVES food. Our lives revolve around food...dinner with friends, making cookies with the kids, Christmas, Valentine's, and Easter candy. Fourth of July cookouts, Girl Scout Cookies, big thick succulent steaks...can you tell what I miss? I will deal with these cards as I have before...prayerfully and with faith that God can heal me. I can't remember exactly how she said it, but my dear friend, Casey, said something like this about another friend of hers. God provides healing for us when we can be earthly healing or heavenly healing. God heals on His terms...for His purposes. These days, I find myself praying to make it thru a day. One day at a time...and I am still here! I worry when it starts to affect me and how I deal with the boys or when I am just too tired to lift another finger and its only 3pm. Unfortunately, of late, those days have been far too prevalent. So, like a recession. You don't know it was recession, until you are out of it. I am hoping I am trudging up the backside of that little graph as I write. I have life. I have a beautiful and healthy family. God has given me and my children the ability to talk, walk, see and hear. We all have so much to be grateful for. Don't take for granted even one day of your life. We all have our roads to hoe, but we are only here on Earth for a very short time. Make the most of every opportunity.