I have been sick, really sick for more than half of my life
with Crohn's disease. I've suffered a great deal with incredible amounts of pain, discomfort, GI issues, emotions. I have had more surgeries than I want to claim. But thru it all, I knew I was growing, learning, shaping into a better person. The person I wanted to become that, more than likely, without those trials and pains, I would not have become. You see, our hardships shape us. They remind us where our strength comes from. They polish us up as we gain wisdom.
During the time a friend was praying for me, his son saw a fire behind my head that none of us saw, including my friend. But my friend felt overwhelming heat, as though it was from a fire. When we discussed the prayer the next day, he said, I just keep hearing "The Refiner's Fire". The Refiners Fire mentioned in the Bible is best summed up by John Piper in Desiring God:
He is a refiner's fire, and that makes all the difference. A refiner's fire does not destroy indiscriminately like a forest fire. A refiner's fire does not consume completely like the fire of an incinerator. A refiner's fire refines. It purifies. It melts down the bar of silver or gold, separates out the impurities that ruin its value, burns them up, and leaves the silver and gold intact. He is like a refiner's fire.
At the time they saw and felt the fire around my body, the medical community was still questioning if I would survive the incredible amount of infection in my body from sepsis. I knew in that moment that I was going to survive. The fire doesn't seek to destroy, but to purify, remove impurities, yet leave the precious metal in tact. We witnessed some pretty amazing miracles in my horrific experience of getting septic. From the day I had surgery on my stomach to the day I was home was 10 weeks. But I had 3 more surgeries related to that hospital stay over the next two years. In that time I had a LOT of couch time and a lot of time to heal and recover. In that time, I realized that answers to prayer are not only for the recipient, but for the prayer warriors themselves. People who pray need to know the difference their prayers made, thus increasing their belief in God and faith in the power of prayer.
I hope that thru all the pain, experiences, medications, doctors, surgeries, etc that I have endured enough for an army and that I may help anyone survive thru my experiences. When I find something I believe works or helps, I want to share it. Not only is it our nature as moms, women, humans to share things we love, its my nature as an Occupational Therapist to find creative and innovative ways to help my patients feel better with their "new normal", whatever that may be.
So, I share my health, I share my diets, remedies, joy in essential oils, in CBD oil and all the things that have helped me along the way because I forged this path on my own. Not alone in support and love, but alone in that I knew no one fighting the same fight with me. It brings me so much joy when I can help one person feel better today than they did yesterday.